Am I a murderer or a lover ?

I never knew

I'd go this low...

I loved her so much

that I didn't even had control over my senses

She came in my life

and became the source of happiness.

I always wanted her

to be at my side forever.

I did everything to have her blindly.

But amidst my overflow of love

an anxiety dawned over me,

a fear of losing her...

I spent everything 

that was mine for her,

I had nothing left but she.

She was there, but I was scared.

I planned to gain capital,

I admit I did wrong,

what I did was out of fear, shame.

I took the child and killed him brutally..

I was madly in love with her..

I know I'm insane.

The fear of losing her finally came true;

but in reality

I lost everything.

Now I stand alone

in these dark black walls

remembering the day I saw you.

You're still the divine angel of mine

my love for you is still pure

but I'm no longer pure..

I'll never blame you for my sins

but now I know my love

for you was divine unlike yours..

You can call me a crazy murderer

but you can't change the fact 

that I'm a crazy lover.

Love is divine;

everything is fair in love and war,

then how is my gruesome act justified?

Am I a murderer or a lover?